Since filming, Ben got married and has had a very challenging journey to where he is now. In a recent exchange with Ben he said he has happily settled in a new job as an ROC Technician, is on a really positive upward curve and is feeling the ‘flow’ in day to day life. This has been a very challenging road, overcoming serious mental health challenges, homelessness, estrangement, a suicide attempt and alcoholism. He reflects that he has always been inspired by Lego and that sometimes all it takes is a strength of will and a promise to help you draw upon the resilience needed to battle on through some incredible challenging times. This is often defined as Grit in the world of psychology.
To have Grit means to have a passion and perseverance towards long term goals, something Ben has displayed in bucket loads. Whether it was the 7th call to the admissions office, making the incredibly tough decision to go down the estrangement route with his parents, or resitting his second year at university after battling with mental health.
Here are 5 characteristics of Grit.
1. Courage
When you think of courage you may think of physical bravery, but there are many other forms of courage. After all, courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. Examples of courage include taking a chance when others will not; following your vision, no matter where it takes you; standing up for what you believe in, especially when your beliefs are unpopular; or simply doing the right thing even though easier options exist. The qualities of courageous people include patience, the ability to believe the unbelievable, and the guts to say “no”. They are not afraid of taking an unpopular stand, nor of asking for help. They are able to forgive and move on quickly, but also to stay the course when everyone else has abandoned ship.
2. Conscientiousness
Conscientiousness is defined as the personality trait of being thorough, careful, or vigilant. Conscientiousness implies a desire to do a task well and conscientious people are efficient and organised, not resting until the job is done and done right. Generally, the conscientious have strong moral principles and values: they want to do the right thing and opinions and beliefs on any subject are rarely held lightly. They also tend to be perfectionists who like to do everything “the right way”. In addition, the conscientious person is dedicated to work and is capable of intense, single-minded effort. They like the appearance of orderliness and tidiness and are good organisers, cataloguers and list makers. Finally, conscientious people stick to their convictions and opinions – opposition only serves to strengthen their dogged determination.
3. Perseverance
“If you are going through hell, keep going,” Winston Churchill famously said. Indeed, to many people, perseverance is synonymous with pain and suffering but those with true grit are able to flip their perspective on perseverance 180 degrees and view struggle as a doorway to pleasure. Essentially, to persevere means to start and continue steadfastly on the path towards any goal you set and frequently this factor alone is the difference between failure and success. However, one of the distinctions between someone who succeeds and someone who is just spending a lot of time doing something is this: practice must have purpose. That’s where long-term goals come in. They provide the context and framework in which to find the meaning and value of your long-term efforts, which helps cultivate drive, sustainability, passion, courage, stamina… grit.
4. Resilience
In one word, resilience is “toughness” – the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. In general, those who are extremely optimistic tend to show greater resilience. They approach life with a sense of humour, are able to laugh at themselves and to reframe situations and experiences to see a lighter side. Resilient people also tend to have a strong moral compass or set of beliefs that cannot be shattered. They don’t compare themselves to others, knowing instead that they are their own yardstick of success. They also see difficulties as stepping stones to transformation. Finally, they do not try to control their lives. Instead, they cultivate self-awareness and practice mindfulness. They surrender themselves to life’s ups and downs and adjust their attitudes and goals according to the size of the wave they are currently riding.
5. Passion
Passion creates excellence when mediocrity will do. Passionate people have a deep sense of purpose and are often selfless in their actions. They also know themselves – they have a clear sense of their values and beliefs, and they live by them. They generally accept themselves as imperfect and growing, seeing life as a series of choices and options. They are driven by goals and are result-oriented. They don’t let anything stop them – they have a “will to find a way” attitude and don’t accept “no” for an answer. By the same token, they are also enthusiastic about the success of others. Finally, they take responsibility for their lives but are not afraid to ask for support. Passionate people recognise that they are in the driver’s seat as they travel on their journey of life.
